Handling the Young Man Well
By Babajide imran
On several occasions when the young man has to be counselled to desist or abstain from a number of moral indecencies as pre-marital sex, illicit drug use, smoking, drinking, habitual clubbing etc the counsellor, usually an african religious ‘elder’, often resort to going mysterious…
For instance the approach considered mostly appropriate to avoiding pre-marital sex is telling the young man of how he dishes out his ‘destiny’ or exchange it with his unbriddled sexual partner. Haba! Many famous folks and celebrities (male and female) have carnal knowledge of people all over the world yet bagging awards upon awards, increasing in fan base and are making giant strides in their secular careers. A few aristoles, olóshós, strippers and porn stars actually acquire their fame, wealth, power and all sorts of pride of this life from their sexual indiscipline. And so a young fellow could see all of these and conveniently put the elderly counsels behind his/her ears.
As a matter of fact, a young man (generic) by default is an adventurer. When he cannot directly relate with an information, he either pretends to understand, ignore or experiment even with his own life!
Hence, when you have to encourage him(generic) to avoid pre-marital and all sorts of illegal/unlawful sexual acts, dont tell him some mysterious, spiritual and far fetched implication of what he is doing wrong; that wont resonate with him. Tell him some direct, relatable and immediate implications of pre-marital sex. Tell him some scientific stuff about sex: let him know sex on its own is good, soothening and even therapeutic. It is however psychoactive and so associated with tendency, dependence and addiction (kindly look up those terms). By being pyschoactive, it means – all other things being equal – sex isn’t what you do once and wouldn’t wish to have another experience. One experience automatically opens you up to another lifetime responsibility that needs to be attended to at regular/irregular interval. This is why it remains an experience that only ought to be shared in marriage where both parties are obliged and legalised to provide partnership when needed. And so it is worth the wait! You can imagine what happens when an umarried fellow is sexually exposed…it’s like being pushed to a task one isnt equipped to do! Abuse will set in, then emotional trauma, teenage pregnancy, unwanted pregrancy, abortion, unsafe/septic abortion, irregular menstrual cycle plus recurrent breast lumps even breast cancer (as a result of early and prolong usage of oral contraceptive pills), recurrent pelvic inflamatory disease (usually as a result of more than one sexual partner), which could lead to inablity to conceive later in life mostly as per the female gender. Illicit drug use usually get to accompany sexual indecency (cos there comes a time they need to be ‘high’ before they do), then mood disorder/psychosis mostly among the male gender. Then, as applicable to both genders, thwarted ambition, STI and STDs (including HIV, Herpes), possibility of unsatisfactory sexual demand even when marriage eventually ensues, eventual divorce, single parenthood, lot of stress!!
The list is actually endless ranging from biological to psychological and social. Now, I haven’t known all these cos I’ve been there, I’ve only been privileged to gather info like any other person.
Likewise when a young man has to be warned against the use of alcohol and cigarette, let them know those things are psychoactive as well. One experience isnt usually enough. So you sign up to run into gallore of problems: addiction, psychoses and mirad of social and emotional dysfunctioning. Alcoholism and smoking as a matter of fact are negative risk factors for virtually all disease conditions. Situations where they may be positive risk factors are very minimal and highly controversial.
The truth is indecent way of life can actually pull down anyone no matter how far one has gone. For a R Kelly of not less than 4 Grammys to be imprisoned for the most shameful things? So, no need to scare anyone with hell or some mysterious spiritual mysteries. The fruit of indiscipline is destruction. It has driven many highflier to even taking their own lives, no doubt!
Hence the implication of what a young man is doing wrong should simply be made clear to him (generic). Let him/her be aware of the threats and dangers such indecency poses to his or her future right on earth. Basic!
If the counsellors are that clear in their presentation, then a young man can be left to make an INFORMED decision.
Enjoy your weekend.
PeepingIntoSomeSocicals
Till next weekend…